The I-Heart Vision

I saw the most incredible movie last night. The name of the movie was "We're All in This Together." I've also heard it called the Hillsong movie, or the i-Heart movie because it was by the Hillsong United worship band and i-Heart is the title of the mission behind the movie.

Good news, bad news. The good news is that it was quite possibly the most amazing documentary I've ever seen in my life; bad news is to my understanding the single showing last night was the single showing of it... period. I'm hoping that won't remain to be the case, because I know I wasn't the only person powerfully affected by the film, so hopefully it will be back to be seen again. If you hear about it playing anywhere, my advice is "go see it!"

Truthfully I am struggling for the words to express the movie and how it made me feel. I think a lot of people went thinking it would be a concert movie, and although they did have an intro time where they shared some terrific new worship songs, that's SO not what the movie was about.

What the movie was about was touching the world for Christ, it was about meeting needs, reaching out, LOVING people. It showed a lot of the need, from across your street, across town to across the world. Everywhere we go there are hurting people in need. It talked about how we are not perfect people, but we as Christians are people with hope, and we have the means to make a difference.

There were a ton of terrific quotes shared throughout the movie, really thought provoking truths. My favorite one of the night (paraphrased) was "We have one life to spend, it should be spent on something that will outlast it." The movie was filled with thought provoking concepts like that one.

It was also filled with stories about people who saw needs, and stepped out and made a difference - like slavery being abolished in England because of the life efforts of one man, and the Salvation Army being started by one woman, people who refused to ignore the needs they saw, and the world becoming a different place because of it.

I'm doing a lousy job here expressing what I saw, and what I experienced, words are falling short. But if you'd like to know more about the I-Heart movement behind the movie, you can click here to go to the website.

I also walked away with a mix of emotions, envy and pride. Envy for the young people serving Christ who have all their life defining decisions still ahead of them. Am I saying I cannot have an impact on the world? Of course not, but neither do I have the freedom to serve and do to the capacity that they do, life has its obligations. The pride came in watching the responses of some of the Envision boys who were there too. Say what you will about the generation of today's youth, the young people I know are incredible, outwardly focused, servant-hearted, followers of Christ. I'm honored to know and have a bird's eye view into the lives of my son and his friends. I look at them and I see world changers, and I look forward to watching the impact they're going to have on the world around them. They will make an impact for Christ and make the world a better place. Maybe, hopefully, part of my investment in something that will outlast my life, is encouraging them to do all they can for the Lord. I believe in them, I hope they know that. I look forward to watching the impact they're going to have on the world around them.

Like I said, the whole experience has left me at a loss for words to describe the fullness of the impact I felt, but I know I walked away wanting to love more, wanting to touch the hurting world around me in a deeper way. It made me walk away wanting to live the gospel. Like Saint Francis of Assisi exhorted, "“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” Yeah, that's what I'd like my life to be about. If you hear about this moving being out and available for viewing again, go see it. But even if you can't see the movie, I hope you'll live its vision.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
1 John 3:16

Times Goes By

I'm actually a little ashamed to admit it took a few days to realize the one year anniversary of my beloved grandfather's passing was Monday. I could claim flu fog still dissipating, but the truth is it seems hard to believe a year has passed... and of course in other ways... If you lost someone, I know you understand.

So anyway, I'm thinking about Pop today. I thought I would share the memorial video I made in his honor last year.



Hug your loved ones today, tomorrows are never guaranteed.

Circling the Desert

Blogging has been a challenge lately, there's just been a lot going on, and even though it hasn't felt like I've gotten much of anything accomplished, it doesn't change the fact that it's been kind of busy around here. To top that off, I haven't felt all that inspired or even all that spiritual amidst the wealth of activity and preoccupation.

Currently I'm getting over the flu and tending to my younger two children, one who's a day ahead of me on said flu, and the other who is three days behind. I'm praying my oldest and my hubby somehow avoid the whole event. But as I was laying in bed this morning waiting for them to wake up and wondering why my oldest didn't make his daily call/text to let me know he made it to school safely, my somewhat distracted mind wandered to this blog, with a little guilt and a little regret over the way it's been neglected lately.

Short on inspiration for spiritual encouragement I was wondering what I should write about. I like this to be a place to lift and encourage hearts in Christ, and so that's always my hope, for a "good word." But I feel like I've kind of been circling a desert lately in the spiritual sense. I don't feel like I'm actually IN the desert, but I am definitely close enough to feel affected by the dry climate and the heat. It's hard because as I wander near it, I remember what it was like to actually be IN the desert. My journey there before wasn't self-inflicted. It was a long and difficult time as I wandered there. I remember one of my dearest friends kept looking at me in desperation. She could see I was struggling, wandering, and she wanted so much to help. She shared scripture after scripture, she prayed, tried to encourage, but sometimes the desert just remains. She found that our for herself later. Sometimes... the desert just remains.

The dry air and heat that are spiritually kissing at my heels these days isn't a desert I've been carried to this time. This time I think my wandering has been self-inflicted. Not completely self-inflicted, but there is definitely enough personal responsibility to give it serious consideration. It's not as though I have fallen into some deep sin, at least not in the classic sense, but I've just let life get a little askew. As I type this though, a scripture comes to mind.

My child, pay attention to my words;
listen closely to what I say.
Don't ever forget my words;
keep them always in mind.
They are the key to life for those who find them;
they bring health to the whole body.
Be careful what you think,
because your thoughts run your life.
Don't use your mouth to tell lies;
don't ever say things that are not true.
Keep your eyes focused on what is right,
and look straight ahead to what is good.
Be careful what you do,
and always do what is right.
Don't turn off the road of goodness;
keep away from evil paths.
Proverbs 4: 20-27

Sigh, do the same words that stand out to me, stand out to you? Let me list them as they come... pay, listen... don't... keep, be, look.... each one is a word of (gulp) personal responsibility. They directives, things I ought to be doing, because (the scripture says) they are the key to life. Ok, specifically that reference is to the Word, but I'm not going to try to bargain my way out of this one, clearly they are all tightly wound and intertwined, important enough that the Lord has given this directive, and something I'm pretty sure I haven't given the attention and effort it's due.

Bottom line, my priorities have gotten off. I haven't let "first things" be first. I was talking with a precious loved one earlier and she was talking about this great new venture the Lord seems to be blessing, and she's a little concerned about being overwhelmed by it. I told her it's "all about prioritizing." With confidence I assured her, it's clear. God first, then family (which breaks down into hubby, then kids, then loved ones then self) then home, then everything else (like her venture) and God will work it out if it's meant to be. She was a little surprised by my family break down, for a moment, she said "Not kids before hubby?" and let me take an short rabbit trail here by sharing with you my emphatic "NO!" Hubby has to come first, your marriage is the core of your family, and I think most women miss that, tending to their kids over their marriage. Someday your kids will be grown and gone, but you made a vow to God and your husband to love, honor and cherish him for the rest of your life. So yeah, don't be one of those couples who after 20-some years of marriage get a divorce when all the kids leave because somewhere along the line you lost sight of the covenant you made. (End rabbit trail.) I have also elaborated here, from what I said to her, to add "loved ones" to the family mix. People God places in our lives, and people ALWAYS come before the "stuff of our lives. People are what really matter. It may mean laying aside a to do list because a person in need crosses your path and you have to put aside your agenda to minister to their hurt or need, you have to be able to go "with the flow."

Gosh, don't I sound like I really have a handle on this? And the sad thing is, I totally "get it," but getting it and doing it are two entirely different things. I KNOW what my priorities should be, but in practicalities, it's not what they clearly are.

So I know I've been a little vague to exactly where things have gone askew, where the neglect is actually occurring, that's because I don't want to tell you.... Kidding! Does that sound like me at all?

It's my First Love that I have neglected. What a scary place that is to be. It brings to my mind Revelation 2:4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Now by no means have I left my First Love... but neglecting it certainly seems like a step toward that.

I have not been in the Word, my personal worship is non-existent and my prayer life is nearly so. I quite simply just haven't taken the time. The other things, on the surface, don't seem so askew, but if the foundation (the top priority) is off, then everything is off. I may be doing my best in the other areas, but I am not doing the best because what I am doing I'm doing in my own (depleted) power and strength. I'm setting myself up to actually get sucked in to the center of the desert I'm circling.

Thankfully after the warning in Revelation 2:4 comes the answer to the problem in verse 5. It says, "Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works..." Now I'm no bible scholar, and I may be completely missing the deeper meaning to this passage, but what it speaks to me is about getting back to caring for my relationship with my First Love. I need to put Him back in His place, in the center, and on the throne of my life.

I think of the early days of my walk with Him and the way I would consume the Word (the area I think is most desperately dry) and through the seasons of growth and depth, being in the Word was constant. Truly that is a catalyst for change in my personal worship and prayer life as well.

This post has gone off in a completely different direction from where my mind was when I started. That usually means the Lord is in the mix. I hope somehow this has encouraged someone, marveling at the fact that even when I am "off" the Lord can still use me. It humbles me, and it makes me hungry, for the Bread of Life.

Support Ethan - Living Out Loud

La la la live out loud... .have you ever heard the Steven Curtis Chapman song? It's about putting words of faith into action, and it's a school project for my 3rd grader Ethan. The assignment is pretty wide open, spend the month of October working and sacrificing to serve others.

Ethan's project? He has decided to raise money to sponsor a child in the Angel Tree ministry at our church. The Angel Tree Ministry is a ministry to support the children of single moms at Christmas time. Kids names are put on on Angel ornaments and put on a tree, taken off to be sponsired to help make their Christmas a little brighter.



E's planning on a bake sale, a lemonade stand and serving at our single mom's auto day. He's also designing some handmade holiday cards for Christmas and Thanksgiving. He's going to draw the pictures and we will print them onto cards to be purchased with all the proceeds going toward the Angel Tree gifts. We hope you'll help but purchasing the cards, I will display them here and you can place your order with us. It's donation based, but we'll ask for a $2 minimum donation, but it's for a good cause so if you're inclined to bid more, you know it will be worth it.

Be watching, E's working on his designs already, I'll be posting them here. And if you see him selling lemonade or brownies, be sure to make a purchase! And please... PASS IT ON!

Just One More

Although it isn't actually reflected on the blog at all, I got a decent response and positive feedback on my Facebook page with curiosity about continuing the story. I actually need to go back and read all eight chapters that I've written to stir the creative juices, I'm just not there yet. On the other hand a friend of mine sent me a link today about a writing challenge for the month of November. You write a novel in the month of November, from the 1st to 30th at midnight. But it has to be a whole new project. The goal is 50,000 words in 30 days. Not sure if I'm up for the challenge, but the concept is intriguing.

But I digress, for now I am offering one more chapter of the "Story in Progress," as it's already been written. This chapter introduces more of the main characters, the "other side of the story," if you will. I'm still interested in feedback, be specific if you're so inclined. Tell me what you like, tell me what you don't like, but again be gentle, it's still my baby.

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Chapter 2

“Mama…” Chelsea was vaguely aware of Joshua’s little hand was reaching up and tapping her back. “Mama, breffast peeze.”

Groggily, Chelsea rolled over to greet her son. “Good morning doodle bug.”

She looked up that clock, it said 6:14. She reached down and pulling him up into bed, said, “You’re up early,” she said, pulling him under the covers. “The sun’s not even awake yet, buddy.”

“I hungry mama,” he said wiggling out from underneath the blankets. Clearly, he wasn’t going to be put off.

“Don’t you want to cuddle with Mommy?” she said hoping to entice him into a few more moments of rest before having to face the day. Joshua hopped back off the bed and ran out the bedroom door. Chelsea just laid there a little longer. The laundry basket was still on Jared’s side of the bed. It’s bad enough he’s hardly here and now he isn’t even coming to bed at night.

“Come on Mama! Breffast!” Joshua announced as his head suddenly popped back through the doorway.

Chelsea stood up and grabbed her robe. “OK buddy, come on, let’s get breakfast.”

As she walked down the hallway she noticed the blanket bunched up on the couch. Obviously Jared had woken up at some point during the night. He didn’t even try to come to bed. The least he could have done was fold the blanket back up. He’s so inconsiderate.

Making her way into the kitchen she reached for a box of dry cereal and a bowl. “Pancakes, Mama!” Joshua said.

“Pancakes? Aww, not this morning buddy. How about some Cheerios?”

“No, pancakes! Peeeze.” Joshua begged.

“Did I hear somebody say pancakes?” Erica said as she came into the room. “Yum!”

Chelsea shook her head, “No, nobody said anything about pancakes. Cheerios are on the menu for this morning. What are you doing up so early? It’s only 6:30, you don’t have to be up for school for another half hour.”

“Joshua came in and woke me up. He said ‘Mama pancakes and breffast,” she said imitating her little brothers toddler drawl. “Pancakes sounded better than sleeping in.”

“Well, I’m sorry he misled you. It’s Cheerios, I can add a banana if you’d like, but that’s about as fancy as it’s going to get today.”

“Aww Mom,” Erica whined, “you never make us pancakes anymore.”

“Honey, you know it’s a school day, pancakes are too complicated on a school day. Those are for Saturdays or Sundays before church for a big family breakfast, they’re a treat.”

Erica could tell there wasn’t any point in arguing about it. “OK, I’ll take the banana on my Cheerios, but Mom it’s been like a bazillion years since we had a family breakfast. You don’t even get up on Sundays and go to church with us anymore.”

Chelsea turned and picked Joshua up and put him in his high chair. “Mommy’s tired on Sunday mornings honey, it’s my only day to sleep in.” She set bowls down in front of each of the kids, poured the cereal and started slicing up a banana.

“We never do anything together as a family any more Mom,” Erica said as Chelsea dropped the banana slices in her cereal and poured the milk on top of it. “I wish you would go to church with us, my teacher has been asking where you’ve been.”

Chelsea thought it about it. It had been about six weeks since she had been to church. She had picked up a part time job working at Dillie’s, a local coffee shop, a few shifts a week and usually worked Saturday evenings. After the her shifts she usually found herself hanging out and socializing till late night hours in the Promenade. Nothing worth rushing home for anyway. She decided to make Sunday mornings her time for herself. Let Jared deal with the hassles of getting everyone up, dressed, fed and out the door. She’d stay in bed till she heard them leave and then get up and enjoy her coffee and a little time on the computer chatting or catching up on email. There’s nothing wrong with taking a little time for myself she thought.

“Will you come Mama?” she heard Erica ask taking Chelsea back out of her own thoughts.

“What honey?”

“I said my Sunday School class is going to sing in big church next Sunday, will you come?”

“Sure honey, I’ll come,” Chelsea smiled, though in her heart she was disappointed she’d have to give up her time.

Chelsea walked down the hall and knocked on Angie’s door, opening it slowly. “It’s almost 7 Ang, time to get up for school.”

Angie didn’t stir, Chelsea walked into her room. She saw a note on Angie’s desk. It read, “Marriage is unreasonable. 1. Old-fashioned 2. Stifling 3. Unfulfilling.” Hmmm, it’s like she’s reading my mind.

She sat on the edge of Angie’s bed. “Wake up sleepy head.” Angie shifted a little. “Come on girl, you’ve got school,” Chelsea said, tapping her backside.

Angie rolled over to face her mom. Peeking through one sleepily opened eye she asked, “What time is it?”

“Five after seven honey, come on.”

“Mom,” Angie groaned rolling back over, “I told you I have late start today, I don’t have to be at school till 10:30. I was up really late working on my speech project, didn’t Dad tell you?”

“I haven’t seen Dad honey, how would he know you were up late? He was crashed on the couch before ten o’clock last night.” He didn‘t even make it all the way through his football game.

“He came in and checked on me at like 1 something… Mom, please can I just get a little more sleep?” Angie pulled a pillow over her head.

Chelsea pulled the door shut and headed back out into the kitchen. That’s when she noticed she’d left her cell phone out on the coffee table the night before.

She picked it up and saw across the front screen that it said “Six text messages.” She flipped open the phone.

The most recent message was from Jared, she’d just missed it. It read, “Working late this afternoon, don’t hold dinner.” Sigh. It’s not even 8 am and already he’s making excuses about why he can’t be here for dinner. Figures.

The message before that was from Karen, her girlfriend. It said, “Hoping to get a little exercise, let me know if you want to meet me at the park to walk.” She laughed to herself, that Karen, she always has a plan, always on the go. It might be fun to get out of the house with Josh. The sun was up and you could already see it was going to be a nice day. Maybe she’d be willing to walk at the Promenade instead. She texted her back quickly, “I’ll call you after I get Erica off to kindergarten.

The other four messages didn’t have a name, just a number, but she recognized it instantly. The first one was time stamped at 12:45, it read “Hello.” The second four minutes later just said, “You there?” Stamped twenty minutes later the third just said, “Why aren’t you there?” And the fourth said it came through at 1:36, it read simply, “Missing you.”

A wave of guilt wafted over Chelsea. Had Jared seen this? I can’t believe I left my phone out here! She panicked for just a moment, then realized if Jared had read the messages it wouldn’t have still listed them as unread. Phew. The panic subsided a little and she just dismissed the tinge of guilt that remained.

Walking into the kitchen she told Erica, “Hurry up honey, you’ve got to get ready for school.” She grabbed Josh, who now had banana all over his face and in his little blonde tufts of hair; she lifted him up out of his high chair and headed into get him changed and dressed. Exasperated she thought, another day in Mommy world.

By Diana DePriest © 2009

Feedback Please - Be Gentle

Years ago I started writing a story. I wrote four chapters and then life got busy. I let a friend read it and she was unhappy with me at the time, so she kind of annihilated me with criticism. It was unfortunate, because if you're a writer, you know sharing your work is like putting your baby on display. It's hard to take criticism, and if it's given harshly, it can be down right painful. The book got put aside never to be picked up again.

Becoming a published writer would be a fulfillment of a dream for me. I really love to write and feel it's actually a gift from the Lord more than a talent. Back in April I felt inspired to start a new story. I'll be honest, it's been since August since I've done more than look at it, but I did get 8 chapters written this time, albeit short ones. I don't know, how do you write a book?

Anyway, I've been contemplating getting back to the task and have had mostly positive feedback from the few friends I have had read it, but for some reason today I am feeling really bold and ready to throw it out there for a larger consumption, but I'd like to actually hear back your thoughts. So, check it out, read chapter 1 and let me know what you think. But be gentle... it's my baby and all.

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Chapter 1

Jared was in a deep sleep on the couch as he heard the vibration on the coffee table. Rubbing his eyes he reached across and tried to make out the caller I.D. on Chelsea’s cell phone. Who in the world could be calling at this hour?

He flipped open the cell phone, “Hello?” He could hear noises in the background but no one answered. “Hello?” he said again the phone went dead on the other end.

He set the phone back down on the coffee table and uprighted himself on the couch. The clock on the VCR said 12:38. He’d dozed off a couple hours before while watching TV. Now the lights and TV were off. Chelsea must have headed to bed, he thought. Why does she just leave me out here?

He wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water. Who in the world could be calling her phone at this hour? he wondered. Maybe it was just a wrong number. Although he hoped it was the case, something in his gut told him it wasn’t.

Chelsea had seemed more and more distant lately. He knew she was probably angry with him for falling asleep on the couch in front of the
TV again. He was just so exhausted. The new project at work was requiring so many late hours. It wasn’t just physically exhausting, his brain was tired. He actually hadn’t been sleeping very well at night. When he tried to go to bed his mind would just start reeling. The thoughts would keep him up till all hours of the night, falling asleep in front of the TV seemed to be his only reprieve from the constant battle with insomnia.

Now the brief benefit of the nap was spoiled by the sudden late night disruption. Now he was wide awake and it was a good five hours before he should be up to start his day.

Sigh.

He walked quietly down the hall and looked into the bedroom where Chelsea was sleeping. She had left the basket of clean, folded laundry just sitting on his side of the bed. He wondered if there wasn’t a message she was trying to send that even if he did manage to find his way back to their bed, maybe he wasn’t really wanted there anyway.

No sense in getting into bed, he’d probably just toss and turn, then neither of them would get any sleep. He pulled the door quietly shut behind him as he headed back into the hall.

He decided to peek in on the kids. First he looked into Erica’s room. His 5-year-old was sprawled out, all her covers kicked down into a pile at the foot of the bed. She looked pretty adorable. He pulled her blankets back up over her and quietly moved into Joshua’s room.

Josh was two and a half. He’d just moved into his “big boy bed” a couple weeks before. Unlike his big sister he was curled up tight into a ball with his blankets pulled all the way up under his chin. He thought to himself how much their sleeping positions mirrored their personalities. Erica was open and outgoing, free and relaxed, Josh was shy and quiet, often keeping to himself. Funny how you could see it even when they were sound asleep.

Jared continued down the hall when he noticed the light shining out from underneath Angie’s door. Quietly he tapped on the door, not sure if she was awake or had fallen asleep doing her homework.

“Yeah?” her voice whispered out, sounding a little surprised by the disruption.

As he opened the door he could see her sitting at her desk, working at the computer. “It’s really late kiddo, don’t you think you ought to get to bed?”

“I know Dad, I’m just finishing up with this assignment. Then I’ll get to bed.’

Angie, such a bright young girl, Jared couldn’t believe she was almost 17. She wasn’t his daughter biologically, she was Chelsea’s daughter from a relationship before they met. It didn’t matter though, he loved her as much as he did the two children he and Chelsea had together. Really, Jared was the only father Angie had ever known. In the 14 years Chelsea and Jared had been together Angie’s dad had breezed through their lives maybe six or seven times. Jared couldn’t understand how any father could be so casual in his relationship with his child. Actually, casual was too generous a word, irresponsible was more accurate. It was Tom’s loss though, Jared was honored to fill the void he left, and that’s why when he and Chelsea got married ten years ago, he made the promise to love and care for both his wife and her daughter, their daughter now.

“Whatcha workin’ on?” Jared asked, peeking over her shoulder at the computer screen.

Angie turned her chair toward him with a smile, “It’s a presentation for my speech class. We’re doing a series of debates in class on different topics in the news.”

“And your topic…?”

“I’m debating marriage.”

Jared chuckled, “Really? I didn’t even know there was any special guy in your life.”

“Oh Dad!” Angie laughed, “I’m not debating the prospect personally! I’m debating the ‘logic’ of marriage. A lot of people consider it to be an antiquated concept. A lot of people don’t consider it to be feasible these days. They say it’s too much to ask of a person to make a lifetime commitment to just one person. So one of us is debating against the institution of marriage and the other one of us is debating that marriage does still work and is still important.”

“Sounds interesting, and which opinion do you find yourself holding?”

Angie smiled, “Well actually the assignment requires us to both prepare for both sides of the debate. We have to be prepared to persuade either viewpoint, you know, all in the name of having an open mind. I won’t know which side I have to argue until moments before the actual debate, which isn’t until the end of the semester. It’s going to count as 40% of our final grade.”

“Really? I’m fascinated. So is everyone preparing for this same debate?”

“No, there are 26 of us in the class and there are four different topics. There’s my topic, a debate on keeping abortion ‘safe and legal’; a debate on euthanasia and the fourth topic is prayer in schools.”

“Wow, those are some pretty heavy subjects. Did you get to choose or were you assigned the topics?” Jared asked.

“No, it was all by drawing, we actually pulled our topics out of a coffee can. There are six of us for each topic, except euthanasia, there are eight people on that topic. We don’t even know who we’ll be debating yet, we may not even know until the actual day of the debate in like late May or June.”

Jared stood up, “Well honey, it’s only January and the semester has just started, your debate is a long way off, I think you can afford to put the topic aside for the night and get a good night’s rest.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “You need to get to bed.”

“OK Daddy, five more minutes, I promise. Tomorrow is ‘late start’ because the teachers have a meeting, so I’ll be OK.” She turned back towards her computer monitor as Jared slipped out of the room.

As he came back into the living room Jared saw Chelsea’s phone face light up in the dimly lit room. He picked it up and saw it said “Four text messages.” He looked over at the clock that now read 1:36. What in the world? He resisted temptation to read the messages and set the phone back down. Finally feeling tired enough to doze back off he grabbed a blanket out of the cupboard and made himself comfortable back on the couch. He grabbed his own cell phone setting its alarm clock for 5:30am. He laid back trying hard to dismiss the uneasy feeling he felt beginning deep down inside himelf. A few minutes later he was back to sleep.

By Diana DePriest © 2009